


Naked Attraction

by justrae2010



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Dates, Dogs, Drinking, I already regret writing this, I'm so sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Lots of nudity, M/M, Making Out, Nudity, dating show, tv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 06:03:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18986743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justrae2010/pseuds/justrae2010
Summary: Victor, I can't believe you signed us up for this!” Yuuri hissed through gritted teeth, fingers clenched almost painfully tight around his husband’s.Beside him, Victor didn’t move, eyes staring dead ahead.He did some thinking.Victor, he noticed Yuuri had used - not Vitya. Okay, so maybe he was in just a little bit of trouble then…He tipped his head to the side nonchalantly, flicking his sleek silver bangs out of his eyes. “But you have a glorious figure, solnyshko!” he said a little too loudly, swinging his best megawatt beam smile down at Yuuri. It would be brilliant in the low light of the darkened studio, like a beacon through the shadows. That would win him over...Daggers just glared back at him though.“I don't want it on national TV though!”_Victor and Yuuri go on a dating show where all the contestants are naked.





	Naked Attraction

Victor, I can't believe you signed us up for this!” Yuuri hissed through gritted teeth, fingers clenched almost painfully tight around his husband’s.

Beside him, Victor didn’t move, eyes staring dead ahead.

He did some thinking.

 _Victor_ , he noticed Yuuri had used - not _Vitya_ . Okay, so maybe he was in just a _little bit_ of trouble then…

He tipped his head to the side nonchalantly, flicking his sleek silver bangs out of his eyes. “But you have a _glorious_ figure, solnyshko!” he said a little too loudly, swinging his best megawatt beam smile down at Yuuri. It would be brilliant in the low light of the darkened studio, like a beacon through the shadows. That would win him over...

Daggers just glared back at him though.

“ _I don't want it on national TV though!”_

Victor wracked his brain.

He had definitely told Yuuri about the show. He’d told him there would be an interview, and a date, and they would find a potential partner that they’d been talking about recently… he guessed he’d just forgotten to mention about the part that everyone would be naked…

“Relax, solnyshko,” he just whispered, gripping Yuuri’s hand a little tighter. “Everything will be fine.”

The studio lights went up.

“Welcome to Naked Attraction!”

Yuuri’s hand jerked in Victor’s - trying to run? - as the stage in front of them flooded with light and the presenter rolled off an intro line to a nearby camera, as smooth as velvet. She looked normal for such a outrageous show, with black slacks, a nice blouse and sensible heels. Even her haircut was normal. She almost looked out of place hosting a show where she was going to be surrounded by people in their birthday suit.

Okay, so Yuuri and Victor weren’t naked … _yet_.

Victor was in a slimming black t-shirt and skinny jeans, and Yuuri was in a soft green cable knit sweater with the cuffs of his jeans rolled up around his ankles. He’d thought it was a dating show. He’d dressed cute.

Victor’s lips twitched in amusement, unable to help himself.

He was so excited.

The TV set itself was quite simple: a black stage, cameras everywhere, and six different coloured boxes lined up in front of them. The presenter smiled at them as he and Yuuri walked out onto the stage on cue, all teeth and charm enough to rival Victor’s. He felt the cameras glare into his back the moment they stepped out into the spotlights, honing in on their every movement.

“You guys!” the presenter grinned, wiggling excitedly on the spot. “Welcome to Naked Attraction!”

Yuuri visible wilted.

But Victor _thrived._

He beamed his famous grin, all white teeth and perfect glittering lips, with that cheeky sparkle in his eye to set all phasers to _stunning_. “Thank you,” he said, voice smooth and charming like the tone he used for the press. “It’s really great to be here.”

 _Because it was._ Yuuri would see it in time…

“So tell me,” the presenter’s hands clapped together. “You’re together, you’re champions, you’re top of the world right now… but you want something more, is that right?”

Victor felt more than saw Yuuri glance up to him, his sharp gaze burning a hole in Victor’s jaw. Clearly, Victor would have to do the talking on this one.

“Yes, we’ve been thinking about introducing a third party for a little while now,” he said easily. _Truthfully_. “We’re away a lot for work and can’t always spend the time together that we would like, which can leave us both feeling pretty lonely. If we found the right person, it might help those feelings and keep us feeling closer together even when we’re further apart.”

The presenter’s smile widened. “That’s beautiful...”

Victor nodded - he thought so too.

“Also when we were doing it the other day, Yuuri was saying how much he wanted something extra in his mouth, but obviously I couldn’t do that too so-”

“ _Victor_!”

Yuuri’s hand whipped out of Victor’s grasp - but it was worth it for the flaming red cheeks and mortified slack jaw staring at him with absolute horror. Victor tried not to grin too wide. Yuuri was just too adorable.

The presenter just laughed.

“So you’re interested in…” her eyebrows lifted. “Another man?”

Victor glanced down at Yuuri, arching an eyebrow. Daring him. Did he _really_ want Victor answering all the questions? _Really?_

If it was possible, Yuuri flushed a darker shade of red. He got the hint. “Yes, a man,” he mumbled under his breath, unable to hold the presenter’s eye. He shuffled on the spot, finding an interesting spot on the tip of his shoelace. “Definitely a man.”

Victor wasn’t laughing at Yuuri - honestly, he wasn’t! This was something they’d talked about wanting and Yuuri definitely wanted it, even if he was too shy to admit it aloud in front of the cameras. Victor wasn’t. He wasn’t embarrassed. He was just brutally, unabashedly honest about what he wanted.

And sometimes Yuuri just needed a little help stepping out and being honest too. He smiled to himself as Yuuri’s hand slowly slid back into his.

He squeezed encouragingly.

“Okay, so in front of us we have six coloured pods,” the presenter said, motioning to the row of tall  human-sized boxes lined along the stage. “Behind each screen, is a gorgeous naked man. We’re going to reveal them bit by bit. The only thing you have to do is narrow them down from six to one. You ready?”

Victor’s grin stretched wider. He was born for this. “Oh, yes.”

Yuuri just squeaked, face pale.

“My parents are going to see this…”

The presenter clapped her hands to the cameras. “Okay, let’s reveal the bottom half of the bodies!”

There wasn’t a delay. The moment the words had left her mouth the bottom of the screens started to lift. Feet, legs, knees, thighs… and the _package_ between them. If Victor hadn’t been holding his hand, Yuuri probably would have bolted with embarrassment. There were a lot of penises…

The presenter turned back to them, face calm and unreadable. “Is there anybody that you’re drawn to?”

The six men stood there proudly in all their naked glory, their faces and bodies still obscured from the hips up by the coloured screens. But their junk and everything lower was on full, glorious display. Victor ran his eyes along the selection leisurely, drinking in the _assets_ of each contender.

Victor’s mouth was a little drier than it had been before.

“Purple,” he finally rasped after a long moment, lingering a moment extra on that man over the others.

“And why purple?”

“It’s... a good size.”

“So we’re going straight in for the cock. Tell me, is there ever such a thing as _too_ big?” She asked casually - like she was asking how many sugars Victor liked in his tea rather than how big a dick he liked to be railed by.

“No-”

“Yes,” Yuuri said at the same time, cutting Victor off with his wide eyes trained on Purple. “That. It scares me.”

He slapped a hand over his mouth the minute the words left his mouth though, as soon as he’d realised exactly what he’d said. His face flared red again.

Victor tried his absolute hardest not to laugh.

He focused his attention back on the other men instead, trying to distract himself. “Yellow’s got nice legs,” he noted aloud. “Nice ball to penis ratio on Red - what, Yuuri? It’s important to have a balance.”

None of the penises were bad. Honestly. None were too small for Victor’s liking, none were particularly ugly - maybe none quite as good as Yuuri’s, but that was to be expected. Yuuri was the best after all, his first choice. They just had to find the second best from the bunch laid out before them.  

“I mean,” the presenter cut through his thoughts, eyebrows raised. “We have to talk about the tattoo.”

Most of the hips were pretty ordinary. Normal hips, nothing bad, nothing good… except for Blue’s tattoo. _That_ stood out as a very distinctive feature on his hips.

“It’s …” Victor scrambled desperately for a nice word. “Creative.”

In the middle of his hips, square at the base of his penis was a tattoo of Pinocchio, just low down enough that where Pinocchio’s long nose should have been coincidentally coincided with Blue’s-

“I hate it,” Yuuri made his mind up quickly, shaking his head.

“But I love Disney so maybe it could work…”

He wasn’t convinced, but it might… maybe… Victor needed to see more of the guy to really make up his mind. It wasn’t _the worst_ thing he’d ever seen. It was pretty bad though...

“Okay,” the presenter suddenly cleared the air. “Let’s see the back. Boys, turn around!”

The men in the boxes turned, penises replaced with a row of six bare arses. Victor wasn’t disappointed - but still none quite as good as Yuuri’s...

Yuuri gasped beside him.

“Is that Green you’re looking at, Yuuri?” the presenter chuckled.

Yuuri nodded.

“Long hair…” the presenter looked to Victor. “That’s interesting, right?”

Victor followed Yuuri’s gaze across to green, to the tips of the long dark dreadlocks dipping down into view from under the screen. He smirked to himself. “Yuuri likes long hair.”

Mari had told him _exactly_ how much Yuuri liked long hair if his extensive collection of posters from Victor’s junior days were anything to go by. Victor definitely didn’t _not_ like it. He could get all the fun of playing with long hair again, while at the same time not having to worry about any of the inconvenient upkeep of having the long tresses himself. Win, win.

“So who would you like to say goodbye to?”

 _Oh yeah,_ Victor suddenly remembered. They could only pick one out of the six to take out - someone had to go.

One look down at Yuuri gave Victor his answer. “Purple.”

It was a shame. Well endowed, more than decent legs… but if Yuuri was uncomfortable with his size and always would be, there was no point going further. He wouldn’t be the one.

“Okay,” the presenter said. “So we are saying goodbye to Shaun.”

The purple screen lifted all the way up, revealing an older gentleman with short dark hair and a few flecks of grey dotted in his stubble as he turned back around. He wasn’t bad looking at all, lean and trim figured. In his days before Yuuri, he probably would have been exactly Victor’s type actually...

Yuuri pulled an awkward face as the man stepped down from his box, adorably flushed. “Sorry,” he said with a small shrug. “I just…can’t.”

The man smiled as he approached them though, his impressive package swinging shamelessly with every step. Victor found it hard to look anywhere else.

“It’s fine,” he said, voice deep and mature. “It’s a compliment really, I guess.”

Victor was very open, very touchy-feely, very comfortable with contact… but even he was a little surprised when the man leaned in for a hug - still wearing not a stitch of clothing. His skin felt warm through Victor’s shirt, hugging back out of reflex more than anything. Yuuri was a lot stiffer when it was his turn, eyes wide and shocked when he was finally released.

Even Victor was a little flushed by the time Shaun left the studio - he’d felt Shaun’s _thing_ brush against him when they’d hugged.

He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Can we please see the middle part of the bodies?” the presenter declared, calm and unbothered as ever.

Victor was impressed.

He didn’t have long to linger on it though before the screens started to lift, stomachs, and arms, and chests open for judgement on the five remaining contenders. The screen stopped at the men’s shoulders.

“Do you like nipples?”

The question didn’t catch Victor as much off guard as it might have done earlier. He was starting to get used to the presenter’s casual, intimate questions.

“Yes, very much,” he nodded. “Yuuri likes his being played with more though, especially when he’s on his fro-”

“Victor, please stop talking.”

Again, none of them were bad.

None were particularly overweight or unsightly in any regard. Red was significantly skinnier though, whereas all the others had more of a toned leanness to their slim builds. Victor wasn’t too impressed by it; it was uncomfortable for him to look at.

“Blue, not too hairy,” Victor wondered aloud, lightly pinching his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Always good.”

“Does that mean you’re not so interested in Orange?”

“Hm…”

If he was honest, no. Sure Orange had a wide build, nipple ring, and a strong swell of a chest - but it was also covered in hair. And Victor wasn’t really about hair. He kept himself well waxed for a reason…

“I like it,” Yuuri suddenly piped up from beside him though. Victor snapped down to his fiancee, surprised. Yuuri flushed under the attention… but he didn’t stop. “It’s kind of … rugged, you know. I really like it.”

 _Wow,_ Victor breathed to himself, a little astonished. He’d never known Yuuri was into that - and he was pleasantly surprised that Yuuri was _voluntarily telling him_ that information.

Maybe his plan to get Yuuri more comfortable was working after all...

“Okay, so who do you want to lose?”

Victor groaned inside his head - he’d forgotten about that bit, coming round again so soon. He knew who it was though, knew who he just wasn’t feeling.

“Red,” he sighed, pressing his lips together.

Beside him, Yuuri nodded. “Just too slim.”

They didn’t regret anything as the screen lifted on David in the red box. He was pretty… but that was it. Pretty - but easily forgettable. The moment he was off set, he was right out of Victor’s mind like he’d never been there in the first place.

“Are you ready to see the faces?” the presenter asked, grinning.

Yuuri glanced up to Victor, eyes sparkling. He was enjoying himself. Victor felt relief flood through him as Yuuri slipped his hand back into his with a nod. He was even smiling!

The screens went up.

Victor’s jaw dropped in a heartbeat - “Chris?!”

He’d known there was a reason those thighs had been nagging at him - Christophe stood there in all his naked glory, blonde hair glittering under the lights and grinning completely unashamed. Yuuri’s hand whipped back out of Victor’s again, slapping over his eyes with a yelp.

The presenter frowned.

“You know him?”

Victor rubbed a hand over his eyes, sighing. “He’s my best friend…”

Of course, Chris would do something like this…

The presenter quirked an eyebrow. “And you’ve never…” She didn’t need to finish that question.

Victor jerked his head.

They’d dabbled when they were young. It was no secret, but it wasn’t widely publicised either. It had just been a thing, more physical while they’d been bundles of young, raging hormones rather than any true connection. It didn’t mean anything.

The moment Victor opened his mouth to say as much though, he caught Yuuri out of the corner of his eye - and the hard glare, warning him to keep his mouth shut.

Whatever he’d been about to say turned into a cough instead.

He scanned around the other contestants instead, trying to find something else to steer away from Chris and Victor’s former sex life. He’d been so caught off guard with Chris, he’d forgotten to even look at the other guys. He grazed along the row of newly exposed faces… and the blood drained from his face.

A bald head would do that to him.

Something in the back of his mind was screaming.

“What do we think about a smooth head?”

“Well, Vitya’s got this thing …”

Victor choked on air, praying Yuuri wasn’t going to out his insecurities about his thinning hair and landscape forehead on TV… but one glance over at Yuuri’s teasing, sparkling eyes peering up at him through his husband's fingers and he knew he was safe. He let out the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, smile flittering over his lips.

“So you’re going to have to make a decision.”

It was an easy one.

“Well, it has to be Chris,” Victor said in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry, we just can’t.”

It wasn’t like they hadn’t considered him before anyway and already decided it wasn’t the right choice. Right from the start when they’d first thought about a third party, they’d looked to their inner circle first. Phichit and Chris had been top of the list. Phichit had clearly had a _thing_ for Yuuri when they’d been in college together and everybody knew that Victor and Chris had fooled around together in their younger days. Both had merit. Both had plusses.

But Victor wasn’t attracted to Phichit and Yuuri wasn’t attracted to Chris. Besides, if anything went wrong they’d be risking the greatest friendships they both had in the process.

They couldn’t do it.

Chris was still smirking as he stepped down from his box though, pleased with himself. Victor wasn’t surprised - he liked to make a scene.

“You exhibitionist,” Victor muttered fondly in his best friend’s ear as he hugged him.

Yuuri got a squeeze on the ass as Chris passed.

He wasn’t really surprised.

“So this is the round you get to hear what they _sound_ like,” the presenter said with a cool swivel on her heel round to face the row of naked contestants. Her hands clapped together. “So boys, Victor and Yuuri are obviously very proud of their bodies. What part of your body are you most proud of?”

Victor was interested when all three men beamed.

“My butt,” Green said first without hesitation, confident and sure. He flashed a smug grin across the studio.

Victor fought the urge to crinkle his nose. They were figure skaters - if Green thought _he_ had a good ass, he hadn’t seen anything yet…

_Next._

“My piercing blue eyes,” Blue winked with a sparkle in his periwinkle gaze.

This time, it was Yuuri’s turn to try not to look too disappointed with the answer. He was pretty sure Victor would always have the best eyes.

They moved on quickly.

“My arms,” Orange smiled from the end of the row, his voice a deep, rumbling baritone. He flexed an impressive bicep. Victor was sure he caught Yuuri flush red out of the corner of his eye... “They make me good at cuddling.”

Victor blinked, surprised.

Honestly, he’d expected another cocky, shallow answer like the other two - especially considering that Orange had a lot more to physically boast about with his broad, built physique! - but that had been … well, _cute._ He smiled, catching the man’s eye across the studio. Orange blushed. Victor’s heart skipped a beat, his own face feeling a tad warmer than before.

“You know what’s going to come now,” the presenter said, cutting through the moment. “You’ve got to make a decision.”

Victor didn’t have to think for very long, glancing over at Yuuri just to be sure. His husband nodded, lacing their fingers together supportively. Victor really did have the most wonderful husband...

“Blue.”

Smiles and looks down modestly as the attention falls on him - for all the reasons he didn’t want, Victor expected.

He just couldn’t.

The tattoo was glaring out at him with every step Blue took towards them, his equipment bouncing distractingly out of Pinocchio's face. This time, Victor didn’t want to look. It made him uncomfortable - _him uncomfortable,_ of all people! It was better than looking at Blue’s hauntingly bald head though...

“Hi,” he smiled friendlily as he stepped down, offering out a hand to Victor instead of wide hugging arms as he got close. Perhaps he realised just how much he wasn’t Victor’s type.

He nodded politely at Yuuri.

“Jon,” the presenter levelled Blue with a stare, catching a hand on his shoulder before he could walk away. Victor knew what was coming. “Tell us about the tattoo.”

Of course, they had to know.

Jon’s cheeks visibly darkened. It almost made Victor question their decision; the splash of colour _really_ suited him…

He ran a hand over his eyes, nose crinkling at the memory. “Um, Thailand… a _lot_ of alcohol…” he chuckled awkwardly, blushing a little harder as he caught Victor’s eye again. “Bad decisions were made.”

It was a shame, Victor thought. He seemed like a nice guy, sweet and polite…but the bald head. The tattoo. That would have been horrific to wake up to. Victor couldn’t imagine going down on it either - with Pinnochio looking you dead in the eye, judging you with his innocence, while you licked and sucked-

“Now you know what happens next,” the presenter cut through his trail of thought, turning back to the Victor and Yuuri. “You’ve seen these two with their kit off, it’s your turn. How do you feel?”

_Oh, this would be interesting._

“I’m not ashamed of my body,” Victor just shrugged, confident.

Beside him though, Yuuri’s mouth hovered open for a silent beat. His eyes stared dead ahead, wide and stunned. “I… don’t have anything to say right now.”

Victor tried not to smirk.

“Off you go!”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri felt naked - literally. His skin crawled, goosebumps rising on his flesh and hairs standing dead on end under the scrutiny, peeled away enough from Victor’s side that there was nowhere to hide. He could feel people watching him - _cameras_ watching him! - arms no where near solid enough as they wrapped around his middle.

Of course, Victor was nowhere near as ashamed as he was.

He stood beaming at Yuuri’s side in all his naked glory, hands proudly on his hips and _everything_ on display. He looked way too happy. To be fair, Yuuri would too if he looked like Victor.

As it was, he was just plain Yuu-

“So boys,” the presenter clapped her hands appreciatively, lazily turning to the contestants in the boxes. “What do we think?” Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. “Impressive?”

Orange nodded, cheeks pink.

Yuuri couldn’t take it. He snapped his gaze away from the contestants with his face feeling on fire, hand jerking for his husband’s. Victor didn’t resist, letting Yuuri cling to his fingers like a vice. He couldn’t help it. His arm dropped from around his middle, abandoning his attempts to try and shield himself. There were too many cameras, too many lights. He really was going to kill Victor when they got home…

His spare hand came up to his face, feeling the heat radiate off his cheeks and smothering his fingers over his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see it, to see the _looks_ people must be giving him.

He knew he’d put on a bit of weight in the off season. His waist still had a stubborn roll of fat that just refused to move, and his thighs still jiggled in a way that was not exactly flattering in his opinion, not to mention the size of his ass-

“Kind of like everything,” Green nodded, mouth pressed into an appreciative smirk.

“Kind of like everything…” the presenter repeated contemplatively, “... whilst looking directly at his penis.”

Yuuri squeaked, turning his fiery face into Victor’s shoulder.

He didn’t miss the way Orange seemed to choke on air out of the corner of his eye though. “Oh my God,” the burly man gasped. “He’s so cute!”

Yuuri just flushed harder.

It was a moment later that he realised that in turning into Victor, he was turning his behind for a glorious view to the cameras. Feeling the last of his dignity swirl down the drain and gripping Victor’s hand so hard he was sure he must be cutting off the circulation, he forced himself to straighten up. Back straight, eyes forward, hands at his sides - still holding onto Victor for dear life! - Yuuri faced his fate.

The presenter was grinning like it was Christmas come early. _She must love doing this show,_ Yuuri couldn’t help but think.

He wished he could share her enthusiasm.

As it was, he just felt ridiculously small and incredibly exposed. He’d fallen a long way from being a gold medalist...

“So … who do you want to take on a date?”

Yuuri sucked in a deep breath at the presenters question, centering himself. It had all come down to this after all, finding someone to fit into their relationship, who could be with them. Yuuri blinked up on instinct, eyes grazing over the two remaining candidates before he realised _exactly what he was doing_ and glanced down again with flaming cheeks. He stared wide-eyed at the floor. Dicks didn’t belong in a tense moment like that.

Beside him, Victor leaned closer. Yuuri could feel his body heat radiate off his skin, could smell the heedy smell of his aftershave glowing from his pulse points...

“You choose, _miliy_ ,” Victor said, with a gentle squeeze to the hand.

Yuuri took a deep breath.

He couldn’t believe he was really doing this… “Orange.”

He could feel himself smiling. Watching the grin shine brilliantly from Orange’s face, he just couldn’t help it, feeling his own lips curl in a mirror image. He barely noticed the other man step down from his platform, blanked out as they hugged - he wasn’t really interested anymore. They had a date. A date with-

 

* * *

 

“-Jason, was such as gentleman!” Victor rambled to the camera’s from a park bench, his smile wide and hand firm on Yuuri’s thigh. He was dressed again, casual jeans and cream jumper hugging his figure. “The date couldn’t have gone better! I think Makkachin approved too. Isn’t that right, girl?”

The poodle leapt up onto his owners lap, tongue lapping enthusiastically at Victor’s cheek. The Russian giggled, arms wrapping around his faithful companion.

Yuuri blushed beside them, smiling.

“We, um, took the dogs for a walk,” he said. “He’s got a chihuahua-”

“-called Thor! What a great name-”

“-and we talked, and held hands around the park.” Yuuri reached back, nervously rubbing at the back of his neck. “He has nice hands. They were really warm.”

“And we’re going out for drinks later! I’m so excited!”

 _“Do you think you’ll get a kiss?”_ someone off camera prompted.

Yuuri’s cheeks flushed darker.

Victor just winked, smirking at the camera. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell…”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was not expecting Jason to greet him with a kiss on the cheek when they met at the bar, nor was he expecting the tall burly man to be in a sleek leather jacket with his hair pulled back in a casual messy man bun, and jeans tucked into rustic, sturdy boots. It was… hot. Definitely hot. He could see the fringes of a tattoo peeking out of the open neckline of his slate grey shirt. He tried not to stare at it.

The glow of the sweet, innocent first date was quickly burning up into something else the longer Jason’s hand lingered on Yuuri’s shoulder, even as he turned to give Victor a kiss too. He could feel the warmth of Jason’s skin through the thin material of his cable knit sweater.

Knowing _exactly_ what lay underneath the clothes did nothing to help dim the fire starting to rage in Yuuri’s veins.

He needed a drink.

And drink they did.

Yuuri quickly lost count of how many they had. First came the champagne - because it was a celebration, Victor insisted, they _had_ to have champagne - then shots of vodka, then body shots, then Yuuri wasn’t even sure what anymore. He lost track of Victor’s fingers somewhere on the dancefloor. He found Jason’s instead, glancing over just in time to see the man’s thick arm wind around Victor’s waist across his broad frame, his nose nuzzling the place where Victor’s neck met his shoulder. The Russian’s head was tipped back, eyes blissfully shut.

They’d long forgotten all about the cameras by the time it ticked into the early hours of the morning, even as the crew caught their last frame of film - Jason cupping Yuuri’s cheek, leaning in slowly for a kiss.

 

* * *

 

**Five weeks later...**

_“Have you been talking since the date?”_

The three of them sat in a row on the park bench - a tight squeeze, but just about manageable - Jason on the far side while Yuuri and Victor tightly clasped hands between them, resting on their knees. Yuuri glanced over at Jason, smiling - but cheeks pink with the impending blush. It was inevitable.

“Yes,” he said, glancing away as he awkwardly met Jason’s eye. The older man flushed too. “We’ve been talking nearly every day really.”

_“So what happened after the date?”_

 

* * *

_It was getting out of hand. Yuuri remembered thinking it the moment his lips had touched Jason’s, then again when he found himself shimmying out of his jeans, then again when he’d realised he’d been kissing Jason upside down while he hung suspended on a stripper pole, legs entangled around the sturdy metal, hold him up. He’d tasted of a heady blend of vodka and Victor’s cherry lip gloss. Yuuri hadn’t been able to resist…_

_He found himself thinking the same thought again though as he found himself pitching face first into an unfamiliar bed, bouncing lightly on the mattress._

_He was very drunk. Head spinning, fingertips tingling, breathing too heavy kind of drunk, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. His brain wasn’t in control of his body anymore. He was just running on instinct, on the high of Victor’s little touches and Jason’s smouldering gaze..._

_They were both distracted at the moment._

_Yuuri rolled over on the bed, following his line of sight down to where his husband was kneeling over Jason on the bed, making out furiously._

_He shuffled closer to get in on the action._

_He reached forward to the slither of skin he caught as Jason’s shirt rode up, fingertips dipping lower and lower…_

_A hand squeezed around his ass._

 

* * *

 

“It just didn’t work out,” Victor shrugged coolly, blinking levelly at the camera.

Jason chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Yuuri kept saying ‘ _Victor, look at meeeee’_ , but even though Victor was looking-”

“He wasn’t looking enough,” Yuuri finished with a groan, face on fire.

He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He remembered. He _vaguely_ remembered. It was enough. It was _bad_ enough…

Victor’s arm wound around his shoulders, another hand patting his knee fondly. It took Yuuri a minute to realise that must be Jason, hand large and warm. Someone chuckled.

Yuuri wasn’t one hundred percent sure which one of them it was...

“So we kind of realised that actually having a third party might actually be more of a distraction than anything else,” Victor said on to the camera.

Yuuri melted into the touch around his shoulder and at his knee. There was no reason to be tense after all - the man had seen him in his birthday suit already, had seen everything there was to be seen… Yuuri still felt the typical embarrassment curl in his gut though, warm and heavy. He couldn’t help it...

_“Are you still going to stay in touch?”_

Over Yuuri’s back, Victor and Jason shared a warm smile and a sparkling eye.

“Yes,” Jason chuckled kindly. “It turns out that even though it didn’t work out for us …  we found love for someone else instead.”

 

* * *

 

The camera cut across the field from the bench, following along the ground to a pile of fur playing in the grass. Caramel brown fur blurred with a small flash of white, noses nuzzling, tails wagging happily…

 

* * *

 

“Thor is absolutely smitten,” Jason beamed, his tiny chihuahua now lying in his lap, head resting over his owners knees… just enough for his nose to be able to graze Makka’s, sat obediently at the men’s feet. Her eyes were trained on the little dog, tail wagging gloriously.

Yuuri and Victor watched on with their eyes aglow, Victor’s fingers buried in the tight curls of fur at Makka’s side.

“And we’ve never seen Makka happier,” Yuuri smiled for the camera, glancing over at Jason with a soft smile. “So yeah, plenty of doggie dates in the future.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So here in Blighty, we have this as an actual show and, um... yeah, I don't really know how else to explain it. This happens. Everyone is in their birthday suit. 
> 
> It's on 4oD if anyone wants to [watch it](https://www.channel4.com/programmes/naked-attraction).
> 
> It’s an experience. As in you will experience a lot of cock and balls and boobs and minge. Brace yourself.
> 
> It popped up on my TV last night and reminded me that I had written this a long time ago xD


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